Chapter 6: Hesitations
Finn’s gaze roved over whole my face, as if he was searching for something that he couldn't quite find before he finally decided to let go of me.
“No.”
“Oh…” I said, unable to hide the hurt in my eyes. I started to turn away embarrassed, when he caught me by the shoulders and looked at me square in the eye.
“No. Lennon, that’s not— I only meant that we shouldn’t sleep at all…” A slight redness spread across his cheeks as he took in my wide eyes.
“Ohhhh—” I started awkwardly before he began stammering over another explanation. He palmed his face in frustration.
“Let’s watch the sunrise.” His eyes seemed determined as he spoke, yet there was still a little insecurity behind them. A smile spread across my lips.
“I’d love that.”
#
A short while later, I found myself wrapped in a blanket, leaning into Finn’s shoulder as we sat together in front of the small fire pit on his upper deck. The sun peeked over the ocean's edge like a small sliver of fire, spreading up toward its dark surroundings. The navy sky slowly turned a dusty blue mixed with blood orange colored sun rays and the sun rose higher. My eyes still dry from all the tears I cried during the night before, desperately wanted to shut, but I turned to Finnley instead. He noticed my stare and matched my silent gaze.
“Yes?” The corner of his full lips turned up as he rose a brow.
“I kissed you.” It wasn’t a question, and yet I felt like I needed an answer. His smile faded slowly as his eyes found my lips.
“You did.”
I sighed looking back out to the ocean that was now fully lit with the morning sun. I started to unravel the blanket from myself when he placed a hand over it and sighed in return.
“I just don’t want to take advantage of you while you’re going through so much. And I can tell it’s not just about Henry— something else is bothering you. And even though there’s this aching part inside me that wants to know everything about you, that feels like something about us was not on accident… I can’t be selfish right now. I won’t do that—”
I kissed him again, pressing my lips into him with so much unhinged frustration that he went still beneath them. I pulled away to study him.
“Look, I don’t know what this is either… Maybe it’s misplaced emotion, maybe it’s not. And you may be older than me, but I am a grown woman and I know what I want. And if what I’m feeling from you is right—
It was his turn to smother me with a kiss. His lips, both tender and strong pressed into mine as his hand found its way into my hair and the other pulled me into him. As his mouth moved with mine, our tongues danced around one another, each breath desperately trying to breathe the other in. He leaned into me, guiding me down onto the patio sofa. The brisk morning air bit into my skin as he slowly inched my blouse up over my bare stomach, his hand stopping just under my breast as if waiting for permission.
He paused, his breathing ragged, and pulled away enough to look at me.
“Lennon...” His eyes closed as he lowered his face close enough to graze his nose gently over mine. I kissed it in return and his eyes opened once more, their blue irises almost iridescent with the reflection of the fire pit to our right. He let out a low growl and I squirmed underneath him.
“Please.” My voice was barely a whisper. His features softened some at my tone and his movements slowed. His hand left my torso and slid into the front of my jeans, where he unbuttoned them and eased them down over my legs. I couldn’t help but let a moan escape my lips as he trailed featherlike kisses down my body, only to stop right between my legs. I looked down at him with hesitation only to be met with eyes so ravenous that a blush quickly spread across my face.
“No bigger compliment than knowing just how much you want me.” He ran his tongue over his lower lip as he slid my lacey underwear to the side and trailed a finger down the wetness waiting for him there. He groaned with pleasure, biting his lip, before putting that very finger in his mouth an sucking any trace of me from it. This was a whole other side to him that I never imagined he had. There was something predatory about the way he pulled my hips closer to him and yanked off my underwear. I watched him as he made circles with his thumb over my center, and leaned into him when he pressed his mouth over my sex.
My eyes nearly rolled in the back of my head with every lick and swirl of his tongue. I buried my hand in his hair, not being gentle in the slightest as I got a hold of a large handful. I moaned deeply as he smirked at me from between my thighs, grinding my hips upward and pulling him in closer.
So close to reaching my peak, his name escaped my lips, “Finnley—
He pulled away. “Not so fast.” I could barely lift my head from being in such a state of ecstasy. “I want to be inside you. I want to feel you climax around me… I want to feel your kiss as I make you moan. I want you so fucking bad, Lenny.”
Breathless, I sat up on the sofa completely bare from the waist down and met him halfway with a kiss to the neck. He pulled his shirt over his head, his tan skin glistening with a slight sheen of sweat from the heat of the fire. Running my hands down his chest I only found myself wanting him more desperately. I could feel the thrum of his heartbeat racing beneath his large pectoral muscles as I rested my hand on them. Looking up at him from under my lashes I said it in a mere whisper.
“So then take me.”
His eyes darkened as he made up his mind. Unfastening his belt, he held my gaze and pulled me on top of him so that I straddled his lap. Just as I reached down to pull him from his jeans, the sound of a camera snapping a picture sounded nearby. Finnley went completely rigid. All lust gone from his features. Faster than I could react, he grabbed the blanket laying on the sofa next to us and threw it over my body as he held me against him and picked me up, rushing to take me inside. More snapping photos sounded from behind us as we moved. Once inside he sat me down and slammed the patio doors shut, closing the blinds behind us.
Rage radiated from him as he ran his had down his face and paced in front of me, seeming to forget I was there for a second as he mumbled to himself.
“Finn?” I stood there, naked from the wasted down, wrapped in his blanket, still unsure what had happened.
“How did they find me? I don’t understand…” His pacing seemed to slow until he came to a halt in front of me. “What if they saw you, if they took nude photos of you, I swear to fucking Go—"
“Finn!” I stomped to get his attention. “Calm down, everything was covered. I’m sure everything is fine…”
“You don’t understand, Lennon. Paparazzi follow me wherever I go. You think this is the last time something like this will happen? Well, it’s not! This is my life. This is what a life with me would look like!” He slumped down on the end of his bed.
“A life with you? I barely want a life with me! What do you think I was doing in the ocean that day when you saved me. You should have just let me fucking drown.” I stomped over to him. Something I said made him pause his rant.
“You wanted to die?” A mix of disgust and hurt shone in his eyes. “How could you?”
“I have nothing, and no one left. Why should I want to continue this miserable existence where the only good thing in my life is sex with some stranger.”
Standing then; surprise was written across his features. “Stranger?” He scoffed in disbelief.
“Well, that’s definitely one adjective to use. But the tabloids tend to be more elusive with things like ‘Mystery Girl’.” He studied me calmly for a moment before finally deciding to speak again. “You want to die, when all Henry wanted for you was to live.”
My nostrils flared with rage. “Quit talking about him like you know what he wanted!”
“I do know what he wanted. Before I knew you guys were related, before he passed… He mentioned his granddaughter— bragged about how proud of you he was, how you were nothing like his kids, how he believed in you. And you just want to die? What, because he died?” He scoffed again. “Get a grip, kid.”
“Kid!?” I yelled, my temper getting the best of me. My grandpa used to call me ‘kid’. But this guy… I’d fucking kill him. I dropped his blanket and punched him square in the nose. “Fuck you.”
He barely budged but held his nose in surprise. When he moved his hand away blood trickled down from his nostrils and across his mouth. His lips parted in a smile as he laughed, blood smearing in his blinding white teeth.
“Fuck.” He laughed to himself. “I think I’m in love with you.”
Rolling my eyes, I turned away from him to the dresser behind me, rummaging through the drawers for any type of pants. Nothing. He came up beside me and opened the bottom drawer to pull out a pair of dark gray sweatpants that I could almost wear as a jumpsuit.
“I’m sorry.” He said, standing behind me as I got dressed.
I ignored him to grab the blanket off the floor and fold it up on the edge of his bed.
“I’m serious, Lennon. I didn’t mean to call you that. I just knew that was something he said he’d called you. I was trying to make a point… Clearly—
“Clearly, you should just shut your mouth about my grandpa. You don’t know anything about him and me, and my shitty family, who could care less that he’s gone and just wanted to take everything that he left behind.” I ranted, plopping down next to the blanket I’d just folded, pretending to smooth out any wrinkles. “…Even what he left behind for me.”
His confusion seemed to fester as he stepped closer. “What do you mean they want to take what he left for you?”
“They don’t think Grandpa should have given me the house. So, they are contesting the will, trying to say that he wasn’t of sound mind and body when he updated his will last. They want it for themselves, my mother and Uncle Paul. And get this, they don’t give a damn about it… They plan on selling it for top dollar since it’s a beach front property.”
Finn plopped down next to me. “They can’t do that, can they?”
“I’m not sure. Grandpa was fine until he had that stroke three months ago, then he began forgetting certain things. I’m not sure if they have a good case or not.”
“Hmm.” He seemed to ponder over something for a moment. “I’ll call my lawyer and we can talk with her about it over breakfast.” Glancing at him then, I saw a sweetness in his eyes that made me feel like he was being sincere. This man, who pulled me from the ocean, pissed on my leg, insisted on bandaging my wound, knew my grandfather almost his whole life…
“Why do you want to help me?” I couldn’t hide the suspicion in my voice.
He simply shrugged and gave me a soft smile.
“Because I don’t feel like our meeting was an accident. And I think Henry wouldn’t care for his kids treating you this way. I want to do right by Henry, and I think he’d want me to do right by you, because despite what you might think of me... You do not feel like a stranger.”
**TUNE IN NEXT SUNDAY TO FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENS IN CHAPTER 7!!*
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